Impatient To Be Well

Well, I suppose it was too much to ask that two units of blood would immediately restore me to my original factory settings.

I am, as the title says, impatient to be well. But it’s not quite three weeks since my final round chemo and I am still plodding, plodding, plodding up the other side of the V. The Scan Of Destiny is on Friday, but I have to wait a week and a half for the results. I know that I am in better shape than when I started out in January––all the fluid in my abdominal cavity is gone and hasn’t come back. (TMI? Sorry. Cancer ain’t pretty.) I still have to push through fatigue but it’s not overwhelming. I can work on my novel and actually make some progress. Some days it’s 3000 words, other days it’s 300; there are fewer of the former and more of the latter but what the hell.

Perhaps “better” would be more accurate than “well,” because recurrent uterine cancer is not curable. Given the results I had at the halfway point in chemo, it’s not unrealistic to hope for remission. If I’m lucky enough for that, I can do my best to live healthy. But there will be regular scans and blood tests, and I’ll have to keep an eye on myself. Not that I’m complaining––if that’s what it takes to stay alive, I can deal.

That’s what I’m impatient for. I’m impatient to finish recovering from chemo and to start keeping myself alive.

And if the test results say I have to have more chemo, I can deal with that, too. 

It’s just the suspense that’s killing me.

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8 thoughts on “Impatient To Be Well

  1. Good luck with the scan. I’ve got one coming up on the 1st June. Keeping my fingers crossed for us both!
    I want to book a holiday (first one in 11 years), but I’m waiting until I get the results from my scan and know if I’ll be going back on chemo or not.

    • I’ll be thinking of you when you go in for your scan. Here’s hoping we both kick ass.

  2. You make us all braver. I’m so glad that you’re better. It just takes a lot of time. See if you can find a masseur/se who does lymphatic massage, which helps a lot to restore the immune system — jumpstarts the movement of the lymph. It’s very gentle, but vavoom! One feels a lot better/has a lot more energy very quickly (24-48 hours). Love, Pamela (friend of Geri and K.W.)

  3. Recurrent cancer is not curable. On the other hand, it’s not an automatic death sentence, either – it’s becomes a chronic disease you treat as you need to, like diabetes or heart failure or any number of other diseases that can’t be cured. You’re a tough cookie, Pat, all cancer will do is slow you down until something else kills you… at 102. I’d put money on it.

    • Well, I’m hoping so. My oncologist said the standard life expectancy with recurrent uterine cancer is two years. And as I said earlier, she’d had only just met me when she told me that.

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