Nine Weeks and Counting

My next appointment with the oncologist is a week from today. The suspense is, you should pardon the expression, killing me. News from the previous exam was astonishingly, maybe impossibly good. I’m afraid it can’t get better; I’m also afraid it can.

I’m about halfway through my oncologist’s original two-year projection and I’m running far behind where I wanted to be. I try to keep myself focussed on what I want to accomplish, breaking it down into a series of tasks rather than tryng to swallow the big picture whole, as it were. But it’s harder to screen out the distractions these days. Of course, the distractions aren’t what they used to be.

At this point, I’m down to taking things in hourly increments. One hour at a time, one word after another; lean back to see what I’ve got. It’s not the quickest way to get anything done but forward motion at any speed is better than no forward motion at all.

Although at this rate, it’s going to take a hundred years to get through the next seven days.


15 thoughts on “Nine Weeks and Counting

  1. I feel for you. Waiting is torture. When I have to wait for something like that (all those doctors’ appointments before my diagnosis, for example), I want all of creation to stop and suffer with me. Focusing on one thing at a time, the thing’s that in front of me, is the only thing that helps, and even that isn’t enough sometimes. When it’s not, I just bury myself in bed with a pillow over my head, until I’m so bored ANYTHING would be better, and I get up and resume life. *hugs* It’s so hard waiting. Got all my limbs & digits crossed that your check-up will be good!

    • The thing is, it’s probably going to be good news––maybe not great news, but good. Or if less than stellar, then not as bad as it could be. But anxiety knows no reason; it’s just anxious.

  2. Everything crossed at this end too. Hope the results are the best possible (or ideally, even better than thought possible, if you get what I mean.)

  3. All digits crossed for you-thinking all good news and strength for you. Started 6 weeks of radiation this week- what craziness life hands us…

  4. Hello (Schrödinger’s) Cat Padigan, to shorten the time of waiting you may want to do more running…fast, OK?

    And: a week from can be called already Xmas time…and you know in those times, wishes can come true.

    Warm hugs & best!

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