Good News For The Holiday Season

The tumour markers in my blood have fallen again. Not as dramatically as last time—only a little—but they’re still falling. The hormones are doing their job.

The doctor I saw this morning told me that eventually the tumour marker readings level off, which may be why the decrease was so little this time. 

Still, in my head I keep bargaining. If I get to the gym at least four times a week; if I always eat healthy and lose weight; if I get enough sleep every night; if…if…if…then can I please not have incurable cancer?

And that’s what I’m going to call it for now—not terminal, but incurable.

I have habitually called it terminal. It’s not that I want to regress to denial about my situation. Despite my good blood readings today, I know there’s no guarantee they’ll stay that way.

But dammit, I’m not dying. Not right now, not in this moment. Therefore I’ve got no business saying I am.

There are lots of incurable but treatable conditions, from type 1 diabetes to Parkinson’s. People live with them. I’ll be living with mine till further notice.

(Hear that, cancer? You are most definitely my bitch.)

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14 thoughts on “Good News For The Holiday Season

    • My thoughts exactly––YES! Although, as I told Terry Boren, when I got up this morning, i made sure it wasn’t just a wishful-thinking dream.

      YES is definitely the word.

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