Guess What? You’re Scared!

It wasn’t until we booked the car to get us to the Macmillan Cancer Centre for my usual blood test that I realised what’s been biting me for the past couple of weeks.

I think of my oncology check-ups as routine—after all, I’ve been cruising since mid-2015. I have no worrying new symptoms, just the usual side-effects from the progesterone. All told, there’s really nothing to worry about.

Yeah, right.

I only think I think of my oncology check-ups as routine. My subconscious mind is only too willing to pick up the slack in the anxiety department. I’ve had a hard time concentrating for the past couple of weeks even on minor things. I thought for a while I had forgotten how not to fidget all the time.

I’ll have my oncology check-up on Thursday afternoon, by telephone, and despite my getting nothing but encouraging news for the past six years—i.e., that although I’m not in remission, I still have my Technicolor Doc Martens boot firmly on cancer’s neck—I will be no good for anything until I hear from one of the oncologists.

Life in Cancerland: no matter how well-adjusted you may think you are, you’re not. Pro tip: that’s okay. It’s not your job to be well-adjusted. Your job is to stay alive. Trust me; I‘m experienced.

To be continued on Thursday afternoon.

3 thoughts on “Guess What? You’re Scared!

  1. I’m with you completely there! It’s not until I find myself dropping things, tripping over things, snapping at the cat – when I realize it’s unacknowledged stress, and it’s the checkup coming up. Keeping you in my thoughts, Pat!

  2. Pingback: Pixel Scroll 7/12/21 Your Pixel Will Be Transferred To The Next Available Scroll | File 770

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